“To love, honor and cherish, ‘til death do us part.” The vows of marriage establish the parameters of eternal love and lifelong commitment. So what happens when these vows are tested by infidelity? For many couples, infidelity is a deal-breaker, meaning the marriage vows have become void; while others treat their marriage as a sacred bond worth fighting for. For them, an infidelity may serve as a result of something greater – something that can be overcome. For couples who may have experienced an infidelity, a wise thing is to seek marriage counseling. Here’s how marriage counseling can help overcome an infidelity.
Getting to the Why
For couples experiencing infidelity, the most commonly asked question is “why?” Depending on the reason, one partner may blame him or herself; another may be pointing accusatory fingers. In some cases, infidelity may rise from a series of unfortunate or unintended events. Whether one is seeking solace or appreciation, “hanky panky” on the side or is trying to reclaim validation or a feeling of virility, there is no one reason why one may cheat. Marriage counseling can offer a safe space where couples can discuss their feelings and concerns, with an unbiased professional to help them uncover clues as to why the infidelity occurred.
Salvaging a Relationship
A marriage counselor can offer strategies and suggestions to help a couple overcome an infidelity. Working through pain, shame, expectation and guilt – and learning to accept these behaviors – can pave the way to salvaging a relationship, a marriage and a family, or developing next steps if the relationship is coming to a close.
Coming to Terms with Infidelity
Infidelity can be devastating. For others, it can provide a starting point to re-evaluate the relationship and the expectations that go along with it. Under the guidance of a professional marriage counselor, a couple can receive impartial, expert advice and guidance on how to process the situation in light of familial, cultural and personal expectations.
More than Meets the Eye
When it comes to infidelity, there may be more than meets the eye. No matter how close a couple is, it is still comprised of two unique people who require open and honest communication, trust, respect and validation. In short, it’s a private thing and must be addressed as such. With marriage counseling, what’s best for the couple is what matters. A professional marriage counselor will help the couple deal with external pulls and internal struggles, helping the couple reach resolution that is best for them and those they care for most.
Seeking Marriage Counseling in Montclair
Infidelity is a complex issue that can leave a couple feeling pained and conflicted. However, it can also result from any number of underlying issues. For some infidelity is a deal breaker; for those who believe the relationship is worth saving, marriage counseling may be an extremely valuable investment of time and energy.
In Montclair, NJ, Advanced Psychology Partners provides individualized, discreet and results-oriented marriage counseling and therapy that can help you through an infidelity or any other relationship issue. Our expert team of Donna Lobiondo, MDiv, PhD and Eric Larsen, MA, LPC ensures couples get the counseling they need in a judgement-free, safe space. To schedule an appointment with Donna or Eric, use our online form, or call us at (973) 534-5333 to schedule a FREE 10-minute phone consultation to see if our services are right for you.
